Loneliness can be a complete and utter bitch...Trust me, I know. I have been single for over a year now. That's single and born again celibate since I'm not getting any either.
Desperate times calls for desperate measures, which is exactly why I found myself recently attempting to lower my standard...Maybe I have set them too high, but then again, it is my life and love life at that. I can afford to be picky, right?
But that knee-jerk, or maybe pre-meditated, action set into motion a topic that I would like to discuss.
Would you rather be lonely or with a person that you know does not love you?
As stated earlier, being lonely is hard. You look and see your friends enjoying the company of their someone special, and you only have a chilly bed and frumpy pillow that will never suffice. You begin to feel like Rachelle Ferrell when she states in "Nothing in the Middle", strangers on my telephone and crickets in my bed. You want, need and yearn that somebody to call your own; someone to occupy space in this world with you when the vast empty darkness of your bedroom envelopes around you.
Conversely, having someone to share your life with will help lighten your load. You can call them at two o'clock in the morning and know that they will pick up on the third ring, and even though they will have to be at work at eight, you know that for them to hear your voice and you theirs is a blessing. Don't get me wrong, couples have their ups and downs...hell even 'round and 'round at times. Being out of your mind is better when there is two, right?
Wrong...when you are in a relationship with someone that does not reciprocate the same amount of love as you, what would be the point of you wasting your time? Sometimes being in a relationship is lonelier than being alone (Let that ass marinate on that). If they're not the one for you, then what are you to them but their advantageous conquest or whatever means they are seeking to finagle from you.
Most of the time in those situations, the person is trying to take what they can before they hit the road. But when you are alone, you can truly see you for you. You begin to recognize what you like and dislike. By doing this, you add to yourself by improving what you feel is necessary. Hey, you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else, and that might be cliche' but my dear it is an age old fact. That ole' cold bed and limp pillow don't seem so bad after all.
Peace and Blessings
God is Love