It feels amazing to be in a relationship where both parties are pleased in a consensual and mutual way. It could be you and your boo against the world like Bonnie and Clyde; taking the world by storm, having the world on a string. But...there is always a bigger picture. What is the basis of your relationship?
Many times when it comes to the LGBT community we base our standards for a datable person solely on looks. We linger in the shallow waters of the dating pool for the hot bods, but do not notice the cutie in the deep end that could keep us from going under. We wrap our minds around superficial qualities that are nice but could not keep you warm at night. We wanna know: does he have a six pack, is his dick over the average size, can he deepthroat, is his ass fat, is his hole tight, will he let me hit tonight.
All the aforementioned questions and requirements will capture your attention only for a little while and then you will be on to the next big thing. What kind of stability is that? There is no way in hell that that is healthy, and it also says something about you as a person; namely that you are not satisfied with something internally or externally. We do the darnedest things when we try to hide our pain, hurt, guilt, fear, anxiety, sorrow, insecurities, lies, truths, feelings, and callouses.
Consequently, we miss out on so much when we focus on only one aspect. We are left with a lop-sided equation which equals to being lonely and constantly searching for love. We may get our gratification from the physical and sexual need but damn is that it. We are far too complex to feed that one greedy side which is lust, and what a destructive emotion that could be. When lust fills our eyes we submit it falsely to our hearts as love. I'm doing this because I love him, is what we will say but it is translated to this for people with bullshit-proof hearing; The only reason I'm with him is because he's sexy as hell and I want to be greedy. Hell, can I be greedy? Can I get what I want and have my way?
Luckily, the picture becomes more complete and stable when a plethora of time is not spent wasted on looking at the outward appearance. Don't get me wrong. You have to find what you like and what you are attracted to, but make sure they are more than just a pretty face and some abs with a big dick. I guarantee you that nine times out of ten the road to finding this person is going to be a hard and frustrating one; but once you do, you won't have to look again for a long time. That dream person is going to let you know in the beginning what they are all about, and what they will and will not do. They will not lie to you to get you to bed and hell they might even make you wait. This is called Love.
Love is totally different from lust. Although, they both requires a bit of passion their pretty much alien. I like to think that Love is pure and unfailing, and lust is corrupted and destructive; light and dark. Love will add to your life and lust will take away from it; hell it might even take it altogether. Love is that thing that can keep you sane and in your right mind, but lust will make you crazy out of you head and foam at the mouth in search of the real thing; LOVE!
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